just that. Poot. 

RIP miss Donna Summer. 

So Saturday afternoon, I'd expressed my interest in having an aura photo taken. Leon took this one:

Energy moves from left to right as you look at the pic. This was right after i'd met the guardians from pt. 2. I'd had a more intense experience with the male guardian, the one who'd handed me the pinecone with the crystal raindrops. His energy, in that meditation, filled my vision with a green-gold color, the exact same color that is in the lower left of the photo. this was also the same color of the green-gold spiral i saw in my other meditation. The white in the upper right is the energy of my guardian angel/higher self. 

This picture was taken less than an hour after the workshop ended on Sunday, but by different folks down the road, with a different camera:

 The lady who took this one (didn't catch her name) noted the purple spiritual energy in the top of the photo, which forms kind of a crown shape. you can also see the energy around my heart, and again the guardian angel in the upper right. oh, and you can see my face in this one, i'm not stuck in a cloud :)

Monday morning was, as expected, an early start. I had to leave by 6-6:30 to get to Phoenix on time. I showered, dressed, packed, and sadly left my cute little inn. It was still dark when I started my return drive, and cold, so the top had to stay up. Over the next 2 hours, I drove back through the Arizona landscape. While I wished I could have stayed in Sedona another few days, I knew that what I was about to do was super-important, and not just for me. The sun rose a little after i started, warming things up, and illuminatng the landscape. I stopped at a rest area claming to have a "scenic overlook", which didn't disappoint. 

Sunrise on the mountains north of Phoenix

I was excited. I was very much looking forward to my breakfast date at 8:30 am. I'd almost thought it wouldn't happen, but at the last minute, i got a response to an email i'd sent, confirming. I was going to go visit Matt & Brooke. Those of you close to me know how significant of an event that is, due to the events of what is now almost 6 years ago. Suffice it to say that there is a lot of history between myself, Matt, & Brooke, and a lot of it has been very negative. I was determined to change that. I knew I needed to see them, to talk with them, and to being peace to all our lives. I wasn't nervous. I wasn't scared. nothing even approaching those kinds of thoughts crossed my mind. I was in my heart, and I felt nothing but love. 

I pulled up and knocked on the door. Matt answered and brought me in. running around the house were two sweet little kittens, whose names are Peace and Love. I squeed and cuddled them, while Matt made tea. The three of us talked, shared a smoke, talked some more, shared more smoke. There was nothing negative that needed to be said. We talked about our lives, my trip, plans for the future...just talked like good friends for about 2 hours. Matt made cookies. We laughed at the kitten silliness. Nothing was wrong, everything was right.

And then it was time to go. I didn't want to leave, really...things were so...right. We all hugged. I thanked them for everything, and for allowing me the opportunity to open my heart. And open it was...i felt like hy heart and my head were glowing with joy. We hugged again. Big, real hugs. Even now I feel the love I have for both of them overflowing in my heart. 

I walked to the car, put the top down, and left, feeling whole. Feeling and knowing that we'd just ended a long, difficult conflict. I'm very much looking forward to seeing them both again, whenever that will happen. And it will, at the right time. 

I have trust in the universe. I have trust in god. and I have trust in myself. My heart is full of love, and I want nothing more than to share it. 

Sunday morning I got up and left pretty early. Apparently too early, as I ended up getting to the center an hour early, before anyone else. So I got back in the car and took a little drive down the road. Saw a sign for the Chapel of the Holy Cross, so I decided to check it out.

As if Sedona hadn't been jaw-droppingly gorgeous enough, there, embedded in the red rocks, was the Chapel. 

Chapel of the Holy Cross

I pulled over, gawked, and took some pictures, then drove around to the rear and took some more. While I could have walked up the path and actually up to the chapel, I didn't that day, mostly out of time constraints. 

Something about the rocks behind the chapel reminded me of Angels, so I snapped a pic. There's a ton of faces in the rocks there, can you see them?

I still had some time to explore after the Chapel diversion, so I drove about some more. Down the road from the chapel was a house for sale. It caught my eye instantly, and as i drove by I snapped a pic. 

While the pic isn't very detailed, I managed to capture the realtor's sign with the number, so when i'm ready to move in, I can call :) only $900K! hahaha. how beautiful is the view though? 

Driving back towards the center, I found a trailhead on the side of the road, with an amazing view. I sat in it for a few minutes, communed with the cacti, and then went on towards the center. I was excited - today was the day! I would not only be entering the space of the heart, but I would learn to activate my energy field, from this space. 

I arrived and Leon and I went to the back classroom. The first order of the day was an exercise called "Dancing in the Dark". In this exercise, my higher self (guardian angel) was my dance partner. I put on a mask, and went into the meditation (ps - the mask RULES and blocks out all light. i highly recommend them for anyone who has trouble with light distraction while meditating or sleeping). I imagined my angel standing in front of me, with our hands up, and our fingertips touching. Leon directed me to direct energy from myself into my angel, and back to me. I felt the energy flowing through my finers, hands, arms, and the rest of me. I extended myself into my angel, and my angel did the same back to me. The feeling was amazing.

close your eyes. let go. be the space you are flowing into as space flows into you. there is no boundary. extend into the universe and feel everything... 

In the next part of the exercise, Leon put on some gentle music. I was to dance in the energy i'd created, with my angel. At first, i felt a bit awkward...i couldn't see anything with the mask on, and while the room was large, there were things to bump into. Leon let me know he'd watch out for me and let me know if i got too close to anything, which made me feel better. I raised my arms, swirling my hands about a little to the music, and I could feel the energy, my angel, doing the same. Slowly my movements expanded into my arms, my shoulders, my waist and hips, until my whole body was moving gently, swaying to the music. My angel was with me in every movement. We danced together for two songs, and it was pure joy. I was dancing with an angel! When the music was over, I slowly lifted my mask, laughing. What an experience! i felt full and light, and more connected with my higher self than ever before.  

Afterwards, Leon led me outside. In the backyard, he had constructed a life-size model of the Mer-Ka-Ba field that surrounds us. The Mer-Ka-Ba field looks like a star tetrahedron: 

There is a male and a female orientation of this field, as you can see from the image. Leon had me stand so that I was oriented to the correct version for me (the female). Amazingly, the life-size model was near-perfect to being my size exactly. I stood inside for a moment and took note of how the field would be oriented around me. 

 Right before lunch, there was one more meditation, in which I would enter into the sacred space of the heart. I put on my mask, and Leon led me into the exercise. Leon's voice is gentle and soothing, and I went fairly quickly into a deep meditation. I breathed in prana, and connected with Divine Mother, Father, and Child. I activated the light beams around my head, and focused energy movements in my body to light them up like a halo. And then, it was time to move into the heart. 

 There are two ways one can move into the sacred space - the male way, and the female way. The male way is more...scientific, and the female way is more intuitive. I suppose i'm getting ahead of myself here. To explain: the heart genrates an electromagnetic field in the shape of a torus, like this: 

It's actually a smaller torus within a larger torus. One moves their consciousness into these energy fields to enter the heartspace. The male way is more like following a map...as you view the torus from the top, you see it is actually a vortex of energy. In the male way, one follows the flow of the energy field down to the heart, like following a path. The female way is much simpler, but not everyone is able to grasp the simplicity and intuitivenes of it. However, for me, it felt right - simply a matter of focusing your intention and using your intuition to drive you right to the spot. So I let go, and allowed my consciousness to move frm my head to my heart. In an instant, I was there. The space in the heart is stll, warm, and has a distinct vibration to it. I was surrounded with a feeling of peace, calm, and love. Leon told me to remember the vibration, and try to hum it or make it with my voice, so that i could easily get there at any time. 

Within the heartspace is another, smaller place, known as the Tiny Space of the Heart. It is in this space that we create our heart's desires. From the sacred space, Leon led me to the tiny space, again, using a female method. I let my intention and intuition guide me right to the spot. When I entered, the vibration went up another octave. I was deep in meditation, and fully energized in this space. In my minds eye, I was in a fetal position. curled up like a cat. a ball of light and energy. I was safe. I was home. I never wanted to leave! However, we weren't yet done with our exercises for the day. Leon directed me to send my energy up from my heart, up to the  chakra that sits about a hand's length above my head. I sent the energy upwards, and felt a surge....I'd activated my Mer-Ka-Ba! i could feel it all around me (I still can, even at this very moment!), extending out in a 60 foot diameter. I'd done it. There are no words for what I experienced in that moment...whole, maybe, complete...love. One. i felt the unity with everything. I felt the interconnectedness of the universe. I was the universe, in that instant. I never wanted to go back to living the way I had. 

Leon brought me out of the meditation slowly. When i took off my mask, the world felt very different to me, closer. We walked to the front office, where Phoenix was. She smiled and laughed and asked how I felt. I told her I felt very tall, in both directions. Leon mentioned that activating my Mer-Ka-Ba wasn't exactly in the plan for that morning, but when everything progressed, he knew it was right and he led me into it. haha! i couldn't stop smiling, i couldn't get over how overflowing with love my heart was. I was eternally grateful to these lovely people! At that point, it was time for lunch, so I went to the car and put the top down, put on some Cocteau Twins, and sang my way into downtown Sedona. 

I took about an hour and a half for lunch, and browsed some of the local shops. I made small talk with some of the shopkeepers whose stores i visited, fully aware of the difference in how I was relating to others in that moment. I was driven more from my heart, more with love than ever before. I saw it in everything, in everyone. I felt it in every part of my being. I was living it...it was so easy!

I was so thrilled to be in the beautiful world that i nearly lost track of time, but got back to the center only 10 minutes after I'd planned on. That afternoon, Leon taught me how to program my Mer-Ka-Ba, and create my heart's desires from the heartspace. If you've ever read or watched The Secret, it's a little like that, but I don't want to give a dissertation on it just yet. If you have questions, please ask, and i'll be happy to go into more detail. 

The last exercise involved tuning my pituitary and my pineal glands. Leon had me listen to an audio track which was designed specifically to resonate fo that purpose. Not exactly Binaural Beats, but in a similar vein. During this attunement, I had a strong vision: a green-gold spiral filled my field of view, rotating slowly counter-clockwise. I'm not exactly sure what that was, but I do know that next time I come across it, I'm going to follow it down and see where it leads :) 

And then, it was done. Leon and I talked about a few things i'd planned on for the next day, which i'll get into in the next installment. Then we left the classroom. I was so happy, so full of love for Leon and Phoenix, who had given me the opportunity and experience of a lifetime. I hugged them both and thanked them profusely. Leon  mentioned that my progress had been exceptionally fast all weekend. He thanked me in return and said it was an honor and a pleasure to have worked with me all weekend. It was a little sad leaving, knowing i'd not see them again for likely some time. I love both of them so much for what they have brought into my life. 

It had started raining that afternoon, so I'd had to put the top up on the car. Made me a little :(, but so it was. I was determined to enjoy my last evening in Sedona. I did a bit of shopping. stopping at a couple of metaphysical shops (gods, there are SO MANY of them there). I was looking for something to bring home to J, but nothing i found quite resonated with me. Oh, there's something i forgot to mention: Saturday afternoon, after the workshop, I had Leon take an Aura photo of me. It was cool as hell, and so i wanted to get another one done, now that I was finished with the workshop. I had a lady at the store take another one...she nearly peed her pants telling me all about the energies she saw in it, hahah! AND gave me a big hug after we'd talked about it. I'll post the pics and the interpretations later on. 

I still wanted to bring J something home. I wanted to find him a ring, but nothing really attracted me, in any shop I went into. finally, I found a shop with some amazing jewelry pieces. Something about the shopkeeper there weirded me the fuck out, but he was kind, and i let him show me his jewelry. Then i saw it - a simple silver band with a faceted spectrolite stone. I kept picking it up again and again, and while it was a bit more than i wanted to spend, i got it anyway. A good choice too - J LOVES it. :)

After a shower back at the inn,  I treated myself to dinner at the Barking Frog Grille. I had filet mignon skewers with a lobster tail, asparagus, and a glass of red wine. I finished off my meal with crème brulee and a Glenmorangie 10 year, neat. 

My last stop was to the "Mystic Bazaar", a new age shop next door to the inn. It was about 8:15, and they were still open. Somethng made me stop and go in. One of the shopkeepers seemed a bit annoyed with me when I told her I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but that i felt i needed to stop in. The other shopkeeper, however, smiled and told me "good luck, i hope you find what you are looking for". I browsed the books, i looked at jewelry, and couldn't figure out what i was there for. While browsing, suddenly a HUGE maine coon walked out of the back room, and up to me to say hello :) I gave him some scritches, and smiled because that was the first kitty i'd seen since I left! I missed my own very much. Then I saw a box of "angel oracle" cards. I picked them up, put them down, and then decided I needed to buy them. They're different than my tarot cards, they have a different energy to them, and when i got back to the inn, i played with them right away. These cards have now become part of my daily meditations, and working with the angels has been...heh, dare i say it? a "godsend" lol. 

Monday I was to fly back home, but in the morning, I had a breakfast date. I had a super-early wake-up time to get there, so off to bed I went. Sadly, i was not able to hottub it that night due to the rain, and that is my only regret! lol!

A quick history: 

In december, I was directed to a couple of videos online, which led me to more videos, which led me to a PDF of the Flower of Life books in the comments on the video. I devoured those books in a couple of weeks, and still was searching for more. It was a curious process. Each time i sat and read, I felt as if I was lit up with energy. So i sought out more. I checked out Drunvalo's website, which led me to the workshops. I knew I needed to attend one of them. It was either going to be in Washington State, or Sedona...both workshops led by the same people, Phoenix and Leon. Something led me to Sedona, and I made the travel arrangements. everything fell right into place. Due to a mixup with the dates listed on one of the websites, I ended up being the only one attending the weekend's workshop so it was bound to be an intense experience for me. I was more exited than I've been in a long time.

So saturday at 7am I woke up, showered, dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. There wasn't much breakfast, some baked goods, fruit, and cereal, but it was enough. The owner of the inn was an old hollywood personality named Dick Curtis. The walls were covered in pictures from his career, stars that he knew and met, places he'd performed. It was pretty awesome...he even signed a photo to justin and myself :D

I made sure to put my hiking shoes on before I left the inn, as I knew we were taking a hike out onto the land first thing. After arriving at the center, Leon and I drove to a trailhead across the street from the center, and proceeded to wander the trails, looking for the right spot. it didn't take long before we found an amazing energy spot, one that made him twitch and both of our pals turn red and spotty. So we decided this was the right spot to be.  

The first order of business was an "angel ceremony", where I would invite my higher self (guardian angel) into my heartspace to work with me for the weekend. Leon showed me the proper breathing technique, a meditation called the Unity Breath. I breathed slowly, through my mouth and with the intentin of also pulling prana in through the pranic tube that runs down from above the head to below the base of the spine. I was having a bit of trouble breating regularly thanks to the hills we'd climbed up to get there, but eventually my breathing calmed down to an acceptible level. 

I brought in the energy of Divine Mother and Divine Father, and let their energies awaken in me the Divine Child. We then invited my guardian angel to stand in front of me, then turn around and join with me in the ceremony. I felt light, i felt connected in a way that I'd never felt before. Leon gave me a few minutes to write down my thoughts, and here is what i wrote:  

love is love, for you, of you, by you

you are loved and have love

your heart is your home

be with this energy every day

it will stay as long as you want. 

Because I love you, because you are love, because we all need this, especially you

I am love and light, I am you above, in the sky and trees and everywhere

no more self-deprecation. 

Thank you

I love you. 

We headed back to the center for more instruction. Leon and I retreated to a rear classroom, where he told me many things. A main point, he mentioned, was that the intention of the weekend's workshop, and of the meditation, was to die consciously, and allow yourself to pass into the next stage of existence instead of recycling back into the third dimensional world we all know so well.

I know a lot of this sounds pretty out there, and some of you are probably thinking what the hell is this you've gotten yourself into? All I can say is that it's not something I fell I am learning as much as it is something i'm remembering, and i've felt this so strongly i've had to pursue this. I think I am in the right spot for me at the moment. oh boy am i! To me, it's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, and it's so much more than 42!

Leon then showed me how to activate my light beams. We all have them around our head...there are 4 of them, and they pulse and light up together formng a sort of halo around the head. i could feel each one as we activated them, glowing and pulsing with energy. I felt even lighter. I felt as if connections were being mae in my energy network that hadn't been made for a long time. Shortly after, we broke for lunch. 

I ended up at the Red Planet Diner, a Mars/Alien-themed place with tasty food and drink. A chili dog and beer later, I was ready for more instruction. 

As I was the only one n the workshop that weekend, the structure changed a bit. WE were to work on freeing up blocked energy in me. So, since it was just me, they decided to give me an Integrated Energy Therapy (http://www.learniet.com/) session. IET works with angels and points on your body to release blocks like fear, sadness, guilt, hurt, and other things. Leon and the angels gently and carefully helped me clear my blockages. I really felt the negative energy passing from my body, particularly when we reached the area associated with Fear. I felt stuck for a second when trying to release these energies. Then i took a deep breath and felt a "whoooosh", and energy moving. Leon twitched, and confirmed it had been a good clearing. 

Later on, Leon led me in a few meditation exercises, the "Blue School" exercises. During these, I interfaced with the healing guardians of my body, one who is make, and one who is female. Deep in medidation when this happened, I had a specific vision of both of them. She told me to stop smoking and handed me a deep red crystal heart. He simply stated his love for me, and handed me a pinecone...a pinecone filled with crystal raindrops. Again I felt, light, energetic, and blissfully happy after leaving that afternoon. I could feel my light beams glowing, and my heart felt especially energetic. 

That evening, i was supposed to remember these objects when i drifted off to sleep, and see what happened in my dreams. I did as I was told, but ended up having a different dream, one about cats (HA). I dreamed of a white cat, who had been injured and was lying beneath a tree in the cold. The cat was sol cold parts of it were blue. When i picked her up, beneath her was a small white kitten. I rushed to take them to a hospital where i could get them assistance. I dropped off the adult cat, but for some reason, i thought i'd forgotten the kitten. I spent a while working to get back to the spot where i'd originally found the cats, but when i did, it turned out the kitten had been with me the whole time. 

An interesting day it surely was. I felt more love flowing through me than ever before...and I still had another day to go!

The flight took off around 7am. I was up at 4, so for most of the flight, i dozed on and off. When we landed, i felt warm, excited. Shuttled to the rental car area...on the way, i spotted a woman in a convertible next to the shuttle. Instantly, I thought wow, I want one. At the Hertz counter, one of the guys joked with the gentleman who was checking me in to upgrade me to a convertible. i laughed, and recounted my storyfrom earlier, on the shuttle. The counter gentleman mentioned that I could upgrade to a convertible for $11 a day. Sold! I ended up with a hot red Camaro! After a minute or two (or 20) i managed to get the top down, and off I went!

I spent lunchtime with a Phoenix friend at a tasty middle-eastern restaurant, and after lunch, it was off to Sedona! What a treat the drive was, with the top down and the seat warmers on! Hahaha! I've never seen cactus growing outside a nursery before, but there were many tall cactus soldiers lining the roadway. Prickly Pears clinging to rock faces. Nature everywhere, and I was loving every moment of it. My jaw was pretty much in my lap the whole time, and a huge smile spread across my face. I turned onto SR 179, and the landscape changed shortly thereafter. The red rocks poked their way out of the ground. I had to pull over as soon as I saw them and take pictures. almost to Sedona on 179 First view of the Red Rocks Just for a minute though, I was so eager to get into Sedona and explore.

So off I went, for another 30 minutes or so, until I soon saw the HeartWalk Center's sign. I could hardly believe I was there. After google map-touring the area so many times, it seemed like a dream. But there it was, and I pulled up and parked. I was early. they weren't expecting me for another 3 hours, but I went in. Phoenix and Leon were engaged in a conversation with some folks who had stopped in to the center. I occupied myself by looking at the amazing crystals that lined the perimeter of the room - some small, some enormous. Wow. I wanted to take them all home, really, as i've always been fascinated by crystals. :) I noticed one in particular, a small quartz point with a tiny bit of amethyst at the tip, that if you weren't looking for it, you might miss it.

Just then, Phoenix and Leon turned their attention to me. I introduced myself, and was welcomed with huge hugs. The energy in there was strong, loving, kind, and welcoming, as were Phoenix and Leon! We shared a few words, agred on a start time for the morning, and then it was off to the Baby Quail Inn to check in and get settled. Sedona is a city of roundabouts, so I would my way North and then West, to Willow Way. I pulled up to the inn, which was ecatly as I pictured it. Small, cozy, and welcoming. Got my keys, and entered my perfect little room. Well, perhaps if it'd had a bathtub, it would have been more perfect! However, the inn had a hot tub in the front yard, so I was appeased.

After dropping off my things, it was definitely time to explore, so off I went, the top down, the wind in my hair. i went north on 179 this time, up to the more...touristy part of Sedona. Found a parking spot close to a shop I was curious about (DISCOUNT CRYSTALS, the sign read), and went inside. Once again, I was surrounded by crystals of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I would find this a popular theme in the upcoming days. Nearly every place I went into was lined with crystals.

Inside the shop, I purchased a set of opalite ring + earrings. They are lab grown, but something about their coloring appealed to me. earrings ring Considered buying some crystals, but nothing called to me. So off I went. Down the road, west on 89A. Had some dinner at a bar and grill just down the road from the inn. Man, I was exhausted at that point, having been up since 3 am, to get to the airport by 5:30 for a 7am flight. So I went back to the inn, soaked in the hot tub for a while, then crawled into bed and passed out. In the morning, 9:30 am, was my first class.

Back in February, I took a life-changing trip to Sedona, AZ. I wrote a bit about it, and I'll be posting the details later on...it's been a personal and pointed journey, with many changes happening not only in my life, but inside me as well. 

So much is being shed right now that it's a bit overwhelming. Many times i'm finding myself irratable or sad for what feels like no reason, but is because I've been much more sensitive to things. Very sensitive. It's taking me some time to get used to it. 

On the plus side, I am seeing my life in a way I haven't before. I am approaching my life from an entirely different angle, which allows for more compassion - not only towards others, but also towards myself. I feel much lighter, and much more focused than before. It's a good change :)

Look for more updates in the near future!

<3

Meg

Revamping this for the new year. bear with me, many changes will be happening! 

<3

m