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  • Spiritual Bullying

    New Age Bullies | Julia Ingram, MA

    I see this a lot. I see this from people I know and care about, and it's both maddening and upsetting.

    Friends, I applaud your decisions to be healers, to help others, to be lightworkers, to teach yoga, to be vegan, what have you but please, PLEASE. please be mindful of what you are saying, how you are "helping" others, and what "wisdom" you are so very determined to share. Please be mindful of who you share things with. As in all things, Consent. First. Always. When sharing on social media, spend some time thinking about what you are saying before you say it. it may have made sense to you and been helpful to YOU, but can be harmful and destructive to others.

    Victim blaming is a huge, huge problem in the spiritual community and we owe it to each other and ourselves to be CONSCIOUS of our message and to avoid blaming the victim. not only is it not helpful, it can actually cause SERIOUS HARM to those we think we're helping.

    This includes pushing people towards "positive" thinking when they open up about their struggles, telling them they have attracted their circumstances "for a reason" or because of the Law of Attraction, or telling them to find "gratitude" when they tell you about misfortune or struggles. This should NEVER happen. Before anything else we should be listening with open hearts, acknowledging and validating, and flexing our deep empathy and compassion.

    There are reasons I have this giant barn owl on my chest. I've gone through the dark night of my soul and come out the other side. It was excrutiating. It was painful. It was nearly fatal. But in that darkness I eas reborn. I have grown through those struggles. I have stood in front of my shadows and loved them. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I resist and scream and cry and beg for things to be different. But resisting the "negative", pushing it down, trying to negate it with gratitude or positive thinking only increases suffering and delays the inevitable: our need to face it. Our need to accept it for what it is, to learn from it, and to use it as a tool for our own growth and helping others with theirs.

    I know this is not a popular angle. I know that positive thoughts and bite size "memespiration" quotes and posts attract people and give us likes, followers, and revenue, but as those who have chosen the healing path, we owe it to ourselves and to others to DIG DEEPER. Daily positive thinking/memespiration only scratches the surface. It may be suitable for neurotypical folks, but for the multitudes of us who are not, it does not go deep enough.

    The world doesn't suffer from a negativity problem, it suffers from an empathy problem. This world is suffering on many levels. Hunger, poverty, violence, war. Mental illness is prevalent and (especially in the US) quality care is difficult to obtain, especially for low income ppl/the cash poor. These are not issues we can positive think our way out of, and to be honest, it is extremely condescending and hurtful to say to someone suffering fro. assault, rape, hunger, poverty, etc. that what needs to change is their attitude.

    This is not what we are here to do.

    For many of us there is much, much more that needs to shift besides our daily attitude. We do a disservice to those we help or want to help by staying on the surface. By hiding our own negativity, struggles, and suffering. By creating an image of having it together. We do a disservice to ourselves as well when we hide these things.

    We are human. We are ALL human. We all flop about in this human existence making mistakes and fucking up and learning, which is crucial for our spiritual development. Allow others their humanity. Allow YOURSELF your humanity. Stop hiding it. Show your bruises and bumps and scars. Talk about how you got them and how you healed them or are working on healing them.

    The world doesn't need more happy thoughts cheerleaders, it needs honest, deep healing. That is what we are called as lightworkers to provide.

    This is what we are here to do.

    Stop the bullying. Use empathy. Think before you speak. Go deeper.

    In lak'ech, ala k'in.

    ~ meggus •❥