Facing difficult spots lately. Medication side effects mostly, but also acceptance of things as they are, acceptance of my grief and pain, learning to be gentle towards myself, accepting when I make mistakes. Understanding the difference between mistakes and "being human". Disliking negative thought patterns, being hypervigilant about them and how that's hurting me. I asked for some guidance last night, and got an interesting reply from Archangel Michael:
"There is no galactic scorecard that averages your 'positive' thoughts vs. your 'negative' thoughts, 'loving' or 'unloving', or black/white thereof. We do not put checkmarks on a board every time you have an unproductive thought, You need to be able to have these kinds of thoughts, it's part of being human. Whether our actions mirror them is another matter. But, if you allow them in the first place, allow yourself the indulgence of being human, allow yourself the indulgence of the release of these energies through thought, you will likely find that you do not feel such a need to release these energies through word or deed in ways that may be harmful for you or others.
Do not police your thoughts minute to minute. Allow them to come and go, ebb and flow. Recognize that some days will be light, while other days will be heavy. Heavy days, heavy thoughts are not wrong. When heaviness appears, it is up to you to figure out what it is that is heavy, embrace it, and release it to us. We make it feel heavy so that you pay attention. It's a scavenger hunt, if you will. Don't ignore it. Listen to that guidance. Find it and figure out how to release it, but not by replacing it with other thoughts or denying its heaviness. There is always more to find than what you think you've found.
As you act with compassion, also THINK with compassion."
It's definitely difficult to be mindful of this when the prevailing "spiritual" attitude in my present environment is one of rejecting the shadows and the negativity. Every moment is an opportunity for learning and growth. I've feared my shadows for far too long, I am blessed that I am receiving these reminders not to be afraid.
In the end, it's not about reaching my own personal bliss and satisfaction, or even helping others find their personal bliss and satisfaction. It's about all of us, it's about the big picture, how we all of us can be of service to others, and how in the end, we move towards that goal as one.