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  • penny

    throat tight with anticipation of
    tears
    they don’t come
    you never came to find me
    and now i’m lost
    wandering around like
    a child
    crying for her mother
    but the mother lies within…
    i stopped having your dreams
    but sometimes i think
    that I am really
    who I thought you were,
    waiting
    whistling keeps me from
    hearing my own thoughts
    and my fear keeps me from
    seeing the truth
    myself as a flower
    myself as a bird
    myself as another
    myself as nothing
    clawing at my stomach
    tearing it open to find
    nothing inside
    cold my fingers
    and my chin
    cold like you became
    when you inhaled
    too much smoke
    but I was the one
    who was coughing
    but the pain foregoes
    the peace
    the calm after the
    storm
    and it will soon stop raining
    inside of me
    and i will leave this all behind
    with the penny i
    gave you
    for your thoughts.

    -margaret elaine wolf, 11.8.95