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  • terror

    terror is terror
    and terror 
    is me
    staring back at myself
    looking down at my shadow
    what have you done? she cries. 
    nothing, i reply. 
    nothing at all
    there's nothing here
    but a bed
    and a chair
    so i sit and listen
    cars and children screaming
    laughter and still i don't move
    nothing at all.

    i like to dream my reality 
    and when i sleep i live my
    days since they're easier
    to grasp
    i like to paint myself 
    and watch the colors run
    together
    i like to see myself
    in technicolor swirls
    but it all ends up mud, black
    and white or
    nothing at all.

    when it creeps up
    from behind
    like that. 
    it really loves to 
    do it, you see
    once i screamed right
    in its face
    it went away
    for a long long time
    but I don't really feel like
    screaming
    now, screaming at
    nothing at all.

    -margaret elaine wolf, 1995